To forgive is to forget
by stick.me.with.a.needle
Summary: It takes a lot to forgive, to be the bigger person, especially if you can't ever forget. Blackwater. rated M, for swearing and may contain adult content...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!**

**AN: New story for Blackwater YAY! I know I already have a lot more stories to finish off but I just had to put that in, I have one more new story too. I'll be hard to update them all, but I will try my very best to keep up, even if it may take long.**

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**To forgive is to forget…**

**Chapter 1**

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**Leah POV:**

Often at times we make mistakes, they may be small or big, but people get hurt so we have to understand the situation and learn to find it in our heart to accept our mistakes, to forgive and forget.

I have always been a good girl, careful to not make any errors in life, but that has never done me any good. My world fell apart and all I could think was if I was cursed or not. My father died, I killed him; and for a long time I hated him for leaving me and keeping the truth from me of our so called 'gift', whilst I roamed this world alone and guilty with his blood on my hands. I hated my mother for never being there for me and taking my cousins side when the love of my life, Sam, left me for my cousin; and I hated him for being so weak and not fighting for me even after I found out the truth about imprinting. My best friend/sister Emily took away all my hopes and dreams and made them into her own, never thinking of the fact that the man that she took by the chain was another woman's everything; she could have asked him to be anything for her, but she chose him as her lover.

Selfish bitch, they are all selfish, my mother and father for taking Sam and Emily's side, and never thinking of what their daughter was going through. All the pain, the confusion, who couldn't understand why she was told that Sam and Emily were just made for each other and that I would have to learn to forgive and forget, Emily was family after all.

And most of all I hated myself and the anger that besotted to my already fragile heart, for becoming a monster, a wolf. I learned that I was the only female shape-shifter in a pack full of immature imbeciles; I learned that I could hear everyone's thoughts in the pack, that I am an even bigger freak than they are that I had cursed my brother to phase too, alongside me. I learned that Sam was the Alpha of the pack and I had to abide by all his rules and regulations, or else! I learned that he imprinted on Emily and still loved me somewhere deep down in his heart; he couldn't help comparing us both and kept thinking of Emily, what he loved the most about her and how he felt guilty about breaking me. I hated the fact that they could hear my bitterness, my pathetic thoughts, my secrets; nothing was hidden from the pack mind. And they hated me in return for being hurt; they never tried to understand.

But what hurt the most that finally broke me, was when my mate left me for another woman. After marking me as his, making me believe that he wanted me, only to then run away to be happy with the leech lover, who he couldn't seem to forget. If it wasn't for my saving grace I would have killed myself years ago, no longer willing to live this cursed life, but I am not that weak minded.

I have learned to forgive over the years, but that does not mean I have forgotten, I will never forget. **Never**. Deep down I know that there is still a part of me that hasn't forgiven, hidden away from everyone's thoughts, but who said I was ever a saint. They forget that a single woman can bring about anyone's destruction as well as give life, and I will make them remember my pain. I will show them who pulls the reigns here and now.

I am Leah Clearwater, Chief of La Push. And that is a promise that I will by no means, break.

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**AN: Well what do you all think? I know it's a little short from all my other fics, but this is all I have for now. Please do review I would like to hear what you all thought, or I will not update, I'm evil like that! Hahaha! Lol, but yes please do review and follow it…**


	2. Chapter 2

**…Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight... because I hate Isabella, sorry if many of you like her, it's just my opinion.**

**AN: So here is the next chapter, had this done awhile back but could not update so doing it now. Sorry for the lateness I know it's annoying but I have so much work and exams I couldn't update fast enough. **

**Oh and to answer some questions, yes Leah is chief by her own merit of course, due to her being willing and wanting a better life for her tribe, she may be a bitch and ruthless at times but she loves her tribe. I may go into a lot of flashbacks, so you'll just have to wait for the story to come**

**I'm sorry I don't get to do PM's but like to thank those of you who have reviewed so far, and those who are following so:**

**Insolan; Cadi; Guest (whoever you are); brankel1; thepixieblonde; firefly-class; Tara Maria; Gurglenator; iluvyeachick; Ice moon 14; amore1993; Tammie; Scribitur Ad Narrandum; Split Syllables' bad-princess400; crazycay21; ellie82; malfoysmirks; patsgig2114; X169AJBX and tisha114.**

**For being such wonderful people on reviewing and following, thank you all!**

**Anyways this chapter is a bit gruesome and slight smut, so hope y'all like it, it's quite long…**

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**Chapter 2**

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The huge desk littered with little sticky notes everywhere, pens, pencils, blueprint designs of new buildings and piles of important paper work were stacked right beside the complaint letters.

God, people can be so foolish at times, complaining about the most littlest of things. Don't get her wrong, she was willing to help out the needy, after all she is the chief, but bloody hell who cared if lady Ahote's neighbor Ashkii is actually an underwear thief, lock it all up for crying out loud; or that the old man Akando's cat is such a man-whore just like its owner, impregnating all neighborhoods single and very pregnable female cats. These personal issues are not even meant to be handled by her, yet they all still loiter around wanting to talk to her and demand an audience to bring some justice. Unbelievable!

Leah sighed as she closed her laptop, pushing it forward, signing the last bit of paperwork and adding it to the pile and then promptly dropped her head in the little space of the table that she just cleared, folding her arms on the table as she did so.

Closing her eyes, she rubbed her neck. There's something different about today, she could just feel it in the air around her. Her hand moved to the side and down, grazing a burnt flesh situated right on top of her shoulder blade. The only imperfect part on her body. She flinched, it was where her mate's mark once used to lie; and for some odd reason it was tingling faintly. It was unnoticeable at first and confused her on why it was reacting now of all times; it had never done so before after she had burnt the piece of flesh off in a fit of anger with an iron rod from Billy Black's fire place.

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_Flashback_

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

_She could remember the anger that burned and fizzled inside her, boiling up the last bit of her heart, she felt so much pain baring her down to the ground, but she only just stood her ground as she tried to control her shakes by fisting her hands tight to her sides not wanting to phase and destroy the last bit of her sanity._

_How could he do this to her? After everything he had promised, she was only worth a note with a single line, '__**I'm sorry**__'._

"_Leah please…" Billy started, feeling scared for the lost girl, and ashamed that it was his son who had finally broken her._

"_Please? Please what Billy? What, for fucks sake do you want me to do? Should I lie low whilst you and the pack tell me it was just not meant to be and get over it, how many more times? Shut up! Shut up harpy and stop being such a bitch! Why shall we listen to you, you deserve it! Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. BITCH!" Her tone was dark, deadly calm at first but then growled out the last words, her shakes were getting worse._

_Everyone took a step back; even Seth didn't have the balls to come near her to comfort her._

_The pack didn't know what to say, Jacob left his mate. The mate he chose, and wanted more than anything to fight for._

_Not only that, but along with him leaving all the imprints had somehow broken; just simply vanished. As if the magical power no longer held them to the unnatural, when they felt the piercing pain Leah had felt at the news, somehow her hurt broke it all. They couldn't feel the tugs that pulled them to the human women that where now behind them that once chained them to themselves selfishly. All they could feel now was the immense guilt building up inside them and Leah's pain, as if they finally got back their conscience back, as if they're finally back to reality. They were in human form yet they still could feel her anguish._

_Everyone could see Sam fighting himself and itching to get closer to Leah, but he stayed back as their spirit wolves within them, alerted them to the dangerous she-wolf standing in the middle of the room who was about to explode._

_With a tattered dress on and dirt caked across her body._

_The pack and the now ex-imprint humans found themselves whimpering in submission and backing into a corner; they could do nothing but watch the destruction unfold._

_Leah twitched in pain as her mates mark burned through her skin, as if it knew that she was now mate-less. She started scratching at it, as if to stop the ache. But it only increased and she started panicking._

_Her eyes flashed yellow, her teeth reshaped itself to sharp canine fangs, as an animalistic snarl left her mouth. Her nails started to grow and soon she was clawing at her neck. Not entirely human but neither a wolf; everyone stared as if frozen in shock and horror, something binding them to the ground to not interfere, they couldn't move. Something shifted in the air and then aligned itself to its rightful place._

_Seth and Sue shrieked at her to stop as they saw blood oozing down her skin, caking with the dirt._

_Yet Leah didn't realize what was happening or what she was doing._

"_**Get it off, get it off. I don't want it, I don't want it**__!" She started screaming in agony and rage._

_Her yellow eyes flashed to the fire place, blazing in its grandeur. And she ran nearly tumbling towards it, she grabbed the metal rod and plunged it in the fire and then lurched it to her skin, burning the flesh digging deep as though it would scorch the pain of the mark away, not caring that she was only giving herself more pain, it would be worth it as long as it was gone._

_She howled in the tortured misery. Finally convulsing to the ground, as the mark erased away to only leave a seared imprint, tarnishing her perfect skin. Her panic drifted, she breathed easy, her body returned to normal and she closed her eyes, slowly losing conscience._

_The smell of burnt flesh and blood was in the air, some ran outside dropping to their knees as they vomited. They prayed never to witness such trepidation again._

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She couldn't help but frown, but then shook it off; she had responsibilities and better things to do than think about such frivolous thoughts after all. So she straightened up her back and reached for her cold coffee, surveying her office as she finished her drink off.

She needed a break, and needed to spend more time with her family.

Being chief of La Push meant too many responsibilities. She didn't know it would take so much of her time; she always thought that Billy had it easy always chilling on his wheelie, hardly ever seeing him with paperwork stuffed down his neck like she always seemed to have. But then again there had been many changes since she took up the position after Billy had passed it over to her, instead of his bastard runaway of an heir, saying it was time for his retirement. The biggest change being, that now all the people in the tribe knew of our secret, the power to shift, which was now a tribal secret. People took pride in the fact that we were gifted with such a power from the spirits, that there will be protectors to always be there to safeguard them, we were respected now and not feared. Watching out for any future shifters and giving advice's on what to do.

At least now she was not made out to be some sort of a slut to a pack of gangbangers, Leah Clearwater had restored her pride.

She was not just handed this title, no, not at all. She had to prove to others in countless occasions that she would become a great chief bringing about changes for the betterment of the tribe, building new buildings, giving jobs to the unemployed and providing new technologies for the reservation hospital, whilst restoring the wilderness, the pride of our tribe's reservation. It was not easy especially after she had become the packs Alpha. She had challenged Samuel for the position, but that is a story for another day.

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There was a knock at the door, disrupting her thoughts and then someone entered.

Leah shifted slightly but didn't look up, already knowing who it was by his scent and heartbeat. Her mouth watered as his natural scent grew stronger, he always smelt so good to her. Is it possible to feel so safe and turned on by someone's scent? Because she swears to the spirits that any moment now she would probably jump him, but of course she had to be more dignified. So she controlled her breathing before he got any closer, but she knew once he finally touched her that then she'd be a goner. She doesn't know how it happened, or how she let him get so close to her, but she couldn't help but want him, desire him.

He came around the table standing behind her and then reached for her already starting to massage her shoulders, fingers digging into her skin to help erase all her stress away; he leaned forwards moving his hands down hating the fact that a chair was between them. Lips neared her right ear, as he heard her moan softly.

"Tired baby?" He whispered, grazing her ear with his lips, she answered with a deep sigh.

Moving up to lightly brush her temple with his lips, and still moving his hands scorching and kneading down her now heated small back, releasing the tension in her muscles. He chuckled in a low husky tone, as he watched her arch her back much like a cat than a wolf and stretch out her arms.

She shifted to his side, head near his, as her right hand moved to cup his cheek and the other to his chest. Feeling his hot breath graze her skin as she kept turning until her lips neared his, she looked up at his smoldering chocolate eyes, and she finally inched herself a little closer and tasted him.

They reveled in each other as their kiss grew from slow to more intense and passionate, a muffled moan squelched down by his lips pressing harder onto hers, licking, biting, tasting; as she clutched onto him; labored breaths filled the air. His hands made a grab for her and quickly lifted her up from her chair and placing her on the table, lips still connected to each other's, kneading her hips and then slowly rubbing his hands down her fabricated thighs, until he reached the end of her skirt and finally he touched skin.

Moving his hands up along the skin, grazing, and going higher and higher… - and then they quickly broke off as a knock on the door was heard, and she sat back down on her chair flustered as he moved towards the other side of the table.

Leah huffed impatiently seriously annoyed at being interrupted from her fun, as she heard her secretary at the other end of the door, with her soon to be sister-in-law arguing with the secretary. She rolled her eyes as her partner smirked at her pout, but when she looked down and her eyes staring appreciatively at his very present bulge he quickly sat down on the chair opposite her.

She sighed, this was going to be a really long day, as the door opened and in walked a very crazy bridezilla.

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His hands grasped the wheel tightly as he finally saw the '**you are now entering Forks**,' sign, and then looked at his brunette companion, she gave him a smile and he smiled back warily.

This was going to be hell, finally returning after 5 long years, he didn't know how everyone would react to him being back. There were a lot of things he had to work out, and a lot of people to apologize too. Oh god, more than anyone he needed to ask for _her_ forgiveness, he probably hurt her more than anyone ever could. He was guilt ridden, and couldn't go a day without thinking about her. But he had made his choices and now he had to deal with it, if only he could run away again, or he never made such mistakes to warranty these reactions. But _she_ wanted him to go back with her to see her ill father, so he came along for the ride, trying with all his might to shake off the anxieties, he hadn't even phased in these five years because he was that much of a coward. He didn't want to know what he had caused.

The white house came into view getting closer and closer, and the car finally pulled to a stop. He started panicking inwardly as he saw Charlie's police cruiser, not willing to let go of the wheel yet.

"Jake, come on let's go already," Bella groaned impatiently, and then proceeded to open her seat belt and open the car door.

Jacob Black still sat in his car for a little while longer before taking a deep breath in and out and then came out the car. He stepped forward as the door to Bella's house opened. He wasn't home yet and he couldn't help but feel homesick, wanting so much to go back to his lands, to La Push. Only time will tell on what will be in store for him when he finally goes back.

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**AN: There you go ladies and gentlemen. Finally updated. You know after completing this chapter I can't help but think if I should keep it as Blackwater or not. Since Jakey sounds like an arsehole, I'm having a dilemma with his character. I have a mystery hot guy for Leah, trust me even I don't know who it is, I don't really much care for OC's and I don't know who I should put as this mystery guy so kinda confused. Hopefully it'll come to me soon. Anyways hope y'all liked it review please, you can also let me know on whom you guys want the mystery guy to be, since I have no clue… ;) Buh'bye!**


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